The Tough Mudder

On March 12, 2011, Erick, some folks from ASBC and I participated in the Tough Mudder course in Cedarpoint, GA. The Tough Mudder, for those who don't know is a grueling test of endurance, strength, and mental fitness. I sort of scoffed at that last one...but that's the one that got me in the end.

We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to do this; a mild, sunny morning. We left Alabama at 5:30 that morning to make our start time at 10:40...we should've left earlier. We got to registration at 10:30 and had to run to the start line as soon as we branded ourselves with our bib numbers. (Marked our heads and arms with a sharpie). This meant that we did not have time to eat the bananas we had brought to sustain us and NO TIME TO STRETCH!! So unstretched and relying on the breakfast we had eaten 3 hours before, we began the Tough Mudder with the infamous Braveheart Charge.

We ran down a hill and then up into a wooded path before meeting our first obstacle: a run/swim through muddy water about the length of a swimming pool. No big deal, right? After all, it is the Tough MUDder. But given that we were not "warm" yet and it was a mild day...that water was FREEZING. It absolutely took my breath away and all I wanted to do was get out of it. The end came, I clambered up the muddy bank, did some huggers to warm up, turned the corner and saw that we were jumping right back in and going back to the other side of the river. In I went, but this time, my body seized up and I swear my heart stopped. I was so cold and my body was just not cooperating. It took every last bit of strength and mental grit I had to force myself to keep moving...I knew I had to and that's what I did. Tough Mudder, indeed.

The first plunge - that water was COLD!

Once out of the water, we were faced with a series of muddy hills...this comprised our first two miles. Among these muddy hills were scattered obstacles. The first: The Texas Smokehouse. This was a building that was filled with a dense fog. We Mudders clambered blindly through windows to find ourselves in waist deep...muddy water (again with the cold water)....sloshing through this muck, we found a muddy barrier that we had to clamber over and then found ourselves sliding into another waist deep water pit. At this point, the fog was so dense it was nearly impossible to see the hand in front of your face, let alone anything or anyone else. Moving forward, I found the other end of the smokehouse, but saw we had to climb over another muddy mound to get to the window. Try as I might, I kept sliding back down into the pit of water...thankfully other Mudders give you a hand...Matt, you're awesome!

Part of the Roller Coaster Run

The next obstacle in these first two miles was the Boa Constrictor. I thought, being claustrophobic, that this was going to be my toughest obstacle. But, honestly, it wasn't that bad. We climbed on our hands and knees through the first tube and found our selves waist deep in water...old news, right? No....as if the water wasn't already cold enough, we found that we were surrounded by muddy ice cubes...the pit was FULL of them. That was the first time I wanted to get into an enclosed space as fast as I could....but the Tough Mudder staff....they thought of that too...because the next tube was lined with...more ice. By the time I clambered out of the last tube, my hands were stinging with numbness and I was EFFIN' COLD!! (But I was having the time of my life!!)

No idea who this is -- but this is a good pic of the ICE!

The muddy hills continued on (side note: muddy hills are HARD to run...both on the way up and the way down). At some point we had to do what is called the Devil's Beard (going under a cargo net while climbing up a muddy hill) we slid on our backsides, front sides, whichever sides down a muddy hill, we did the Kiss of Mud (army crawling in the mud under a series of wires), a dear little challenge called the Cliff Hanger, and another flat version of the Devil's Beard.

Me and Erick doing the Kiss of Mud

The Cliff Hanger was easier than I thought it was going to be. It was a steep climb up a muddy muddy hill (and when I say muddy folks, I'm talking Georgia Clay...goopy, sticky, thick, slick, stuff). I made it 3/4 of the way up before one of the Tough Mudder staff got out the water hose....thanks. This made me hightail it across to the flags lining the obtacle...once there, I clambered to the top on my hands and knees. More muddy hills followed this...and then we began the Death March (Miles 2-6).

Don't know this guy - but note the hose!

The Death March....there are no words. It started off harmless enough...hiking up some steep inclines in the woods...clambering back down. But after a while of doing this, it was getting kind of tiresome....we had already done two miles of muddy hills...these weren't too muddy - but they were steep, rocky and full of tree roots. Some of the declines were worse than the inclines....I know several of us sat down and scooted down some of them just because we were not sure of our footing. When we hit mile marker 4 we were ready for a break...but there was no water station. Thankfully, the path leveled off into a nice path...this I ran, and it was a GOOD run. I was happy with my progress thus far and I felt full of energy despite the grueling tasks we had just completed. At mile Marker 5 there was a stream which we Mudders took the opportunity of washing off in (not that it helped...the water was orange). The climb had made us hot, there hadn't been a water station in 3 miles, and we needed a break.

I didn't want to take too long of a break...I was raring to go...and I didn't want to get my heart rate too low and have to work it back up. I began jogging up the path and was faced with what I like to call the ACTUAL Cliffhanger of the Tough Mudder. This hill was so steep..it reminded me of the Stairs that Gollum took Frodo to in the Lord of the Rings Movie. But I was not deterred. Thankfully, the Mudders that had come before had made some nice "steps" into the earth that I used for my footing. When those proved ineffective or were just nonexistent, I used trees and roots...anything to secure my one foot so I could clamber up this thing. I never looked down and I never looked up...except to find my next source of footing. When I made it to the top I waited there with others from our group for the rest and we continued on...at this point, desperate for some stinkin' water. We were tired of the woods...all we saw around us were paths going up and down and other Mudders marching up and down them...it felt like it was never going to end. Thankfully, end it did (after several more steep inclines and declines). The path leveled off again and I found myself running towards what would be the Mystery Obstacle.

The Turd's Nest and beyond - the water we waded through to get to it

As we left the woods, we saw a sign indicating the Mystery Obstacle ahead - but to get to it - we had to wade through waist deep water (about the size of two swimming pools). This felt good for about 1/4 through...then the coldness set in again and I was ready to be out. The bottom of this pit was so muddy that it was difficult to get your footing and so the going was sadly, quite slow. Finally out, we stood in line for the mystery obstacle....the Turd's Nest. We had to clamber up an 8ft wall via a rope - walk across a cargo net draped over a pool of muck and make it to the platform on the other side. Again - thanks to the other Mudders for helping me get myself up this one. Mud had made traction impossible on the wall...the rope was so cover in mud that it was pretty useless too...so basically arms were being pulled and feet were being supported. The scariest part of this for me was climbing off this thing. Again, mud and wet boards with muddy muddy shoes makes for a very slick and dangerous situation.

This was Mile 6 and after this we were back in the woods for a nice run on some gently sloping (slightly muddy) hills. When we reached a clearing we FINALLY came to a water station...except it wasn't for us...it was for the folks on the other side of the trail barrier. These Mudders told us to get water now...so we clambered over the barrier and did...and boy am I glad we did. Next Up: The Moonshine Trail Run.

This was advertised as a "nice run in the woods to cool off." Bull Crap. I don't know anyone who could run that. It was the Death march all over again....except not quite as steep...and when I say not quite...I mean it was slightly less. Maybe I was just tired...but that was rough. Two miles of that and we were at the "Hold Your Wood" obstacle. A 1/4 mile march through the woods with a ginormous log on your shoulders (could be carried by a team). Off we went for another run in the woods...more hills. We came upon that water station that we had hit up before the Moonshine Trail Run and found they had run out of cups....so we slurped the water from a hose.

By this time, my back was in spasms...and my legs were tight and sore. The next obstacle was the Berlin walls (12 ft walls that we had to climb over) and I opted out of it (so did another of our group). We walked until the boys caught up with us and then we ran to the Funky Monkey (greased monkey bars over a pit of water), Mile 10 and our first sighting of SPECTATORS!!. Erick clambered his way the way across...I just walked across ( I can't do monkey bars even when they're not greased).
- Mile 10 -

The next mile was BRUTAL. Sloshing our way through shin deep, Georgia clay we made our way to Twinkle Toes ( walking across a shaky beam over a pit of water). I was thankful I fell in the water, because that at least washed some of the mud off of my shoes (it felt like they each had 5 pounds of weight on them). But alas, there was more mud to be stomped through and yet more pits full of muddy water before we arrived at the Fire Walk ( a run through a path lined with burning hay bales). I ran this because I couldn't breathe and I couldn't see...and the heat was awful. I was face to face with the Finish line....it was Walk the Plank (a run up a 15 foot ramp and a jump into the same river of water we sloshed through at the beginning...followed by a swim across to the opposite bank) and then Electro-Shock Therapy. I could see it...I was at the end, FINALLY! But then, our path turned...we arrived at the 11 mile markers and I saw that we were not finished- even though the course was advertised as 11 miles long. No, no - the path had us going back over the roller coaster run (the series of muddy hills) that we had done in the beginning - two more miles of mud and hills (and I later found out, the obstacles that we had done in the beginning). This was it for me...and for my partner in crime - Shari. We had had it -- the finish line was behind us and that's where we were going.

We're done!

I do regret that I caved...I should have stuck it through to the end....but I also just completed a grueling 11 mile obstacle course with no stretch time, very little food, and very little (drinkable) water. I was tired, I was sore, I was hungry...and mostly I just wanted to be done. They waved the finish line in front of our faces as a cruel joke only to put us through more crap and I just couldn't mentally withstand that...I almost sat down and cried. And I think if I had continued and saw that we had to do the uphill Devil's Beard, Kiss of Mud and Cliffhanger again, I would've cried or had a nervous breakdown right there in the middle of the Tough Mudder course.

I went through the Finish Line, I got my t-shirt, my power bar and my head band. In my mind, I finished what I paid for (11 miles) and that's a personal best for me, so I'm happy with that. Would I do a Tough Mudder again? Probably. It was FUN. Seriously, the sense of teamwork with our group and just the camaraderie with the other Mudders (otherwise known as complete strangers) was great. We had a lot of laughs out there and that helped make the obstacles a lot less daunting. Next time, I hope to finish finish...but for my first - I'm proud of what I accomplished. I have bruises, scars and enough sore muscles to last a lifetime...but it was worth it. Erick was a man and made it through to the end -- he's my hero. He said the plunge into the river was rough....it was so cold you kind of freeze up and then it felt like an eternity trying to break back through the surface. Makes me kinda glad I just went to the finish line...with how orange that water was I think I might have just sunk to the bottom and no one would've been able to find me to fish me out.